Astrology is really having a moment right now and I’m totally here for it. If you’re a nut for the Chanis and Susans of the world, you’ll know that this month’s new moon is all about embracing the nature of what many consider to be one of the worst signs of the zodiac. It’s that two-faced, kinda shady, but also totally charming, funny and extremely smart Gemini. The twins. They’re kinda cute and cuddly but kinda have that edgy, might-actually-smother-you-with-a-pillow-in-your-sleep vibe going for them as well.
But don’t you also get the impression that twins – and perhaps even the Geminis in your life – are in on some sort of secret? That they “get” something you haven’t fully grasped yet? There is no doubt in my mind that MK and Ash share a secret, possibly telepathic language and are currently building summer homes somewhere in the stars, having grown totally bored of available vacation properties on this planet.
Secret Olsen languages and galaxy properties aside, what Gemini season is all about is embracing the dualism of human nature. It’s about embracing that we can’t be one way all the time. That humans aren’t just inherently good or proper or always totally committed to doing the “right” thing. That we all wear different, seemingly contradictory faces and that sometimes, being bad does feel pretty good, huh?
As a completely mushy, sucker-for-rom-coms Cancer on the inside, and an attention-seeking, unapologetic-drama-queen Leo on the outside, I find I’m constantly negotiating being pulled in contradictory directions on how to be. I’m drawn to the spotlight like an ignorant moth but feel ashamed for wanting it once I get there. About an hour into a seemingly guilt-free night on the couch I’m overcome with the worry that I’m supposed to be somewhere else, with someone else. It’s been a theme in a lot of these blog posts: I’m not one way and I’m constantly quieting the worry that this is a flaw.
The thing I’m trying to really ingrain in myself this Gemini season is that I don’t need to judge myself so harshly for doing what I label as “wrong.” My ideas of “wrong” aren’t really rooted in anything. In the grand scheme of this crazy, potentially doomed planet, the guilt I pile on myself for letting people down once in a while, taking shortcuts, binge-eating, rolling my eyes at things I really shouldn’t, occasional sass, slacking off, finding myself burnt out yet again, and keeping up with far too many TV shows isn’t really serving anyone. It certainly isn’t serving me.
There’s so much I want to accomplish this year. I want to write a book. I want to start a coaching practice. I want this blog to become a website where I can house all of these things and more. I want a relationship with someone else that will make me actually want a relationship with someone else.
Now all of a sudden I want to write music too. I’m barely a guitar player, a confident and adaptable singer, and enough of a writer so I must at least have potential, right!? I want this really badly now. And I don’t want to feel bad about it because it means putting all of those other things on the back burner for a bit. I don’t want to feel bad about it because it makes me feel so good. Shouldn’t that be an indicator that it’s the right thing? At least for right now!?
What I love about the Geminis in my life is that they aren’t worried about wanting or trying many different things. They flow, they change, they evolve, and they laugh and they make others laugh along the way. And they seem to be so okay with it all. Sometimes they coast a bit but they always find their way back to shore. Not necessarily the shore they intended, but a shore that works for them for the time being.
I’m excited about this next shore. And if there’s one thing I want to stay consistent on it’s that I keep sharing my learning about this new shore right here. Thanks for listening, always.